Growing Up Is Hard

I have probably discussed this before, but growing up is really over-rated.  If anyone under 25 stumbles across this blog, please know this to be true--GROWING UP IS OVER-RATED!!!

I am dealing with life wearing my best game face, but that does not change the fact that underneath that mask of holding it all together, I am struggling.  I am at that place in life where the generation before me that held my life together is starting to need me to hold it together for them, and I am not ready.  Not only am I deficient in the strength that they had, I have the weight of my own disappointments to resolve...

Lord knows I want to be a strong enough person.  But I do not wish to be the Hulk, Hercules and especially not Atlas, but just strong enough.  I am in my Garden of Gethsemane...wondering aloud where the Lord is and why has He forsaken me?  Of course, I know that is not the case because the only reason why I am even able to sit here and type all of this is through the grace of God, but that does not change the way I feel right at this moment.

But I remembered just a few weeks ago that the women in my family were prayer warriors and that is what I need to become.  I haven't been a regular church attendee in years, and it seems rather convenient to start that up now, but no matter.  I remember how to pray.  I remember how to find inspiration in God's word and I remember the hymns that bring comfort.  If I put all of these elements together, I know I can keep going.