I have not kept up with my blog. I said that I would come back, posted an entire message about coming back. Thought many times about what I would write about when I came back. And it took me three months to actually come back.
My life is a mess. I am seeing a doctor every six to eight weeks. These are not always related ailments, there is typically something new that sends me to a different office where someone tells me that this could be a big deal (and it then somehow it isn't). But I've had a succession of illnesses this year and I feel like an 80 year old woman. Today something else erupted and so I need to make another appointment for yet another doctor (mind you, I have a referral that I need to follow up on for another ailment I developed in August).
Yessiree, I am a walking disaster. I have new responsibilities on my little job, yet I won't get paid for them until March 2008, by which time, I might be dead or unable to enjoy my largess. That book that I was supposed to be finishing this year is still in the pending stages. I wrote something over the weekend, and I know that when I sit down to re-read any of it, I will hate it. So I will be exactly where I started--unfinished chapters that make no sense because I have yet to string them together.
I had something called Mondor's disease in January. I woke up one morning with a soreness on my chest, which everyone said was all in my head until the cord of blood vessels emerged and pulled a fold across my boob--then people started to believe me. I am not making these ailments up to get attention, even though in the grand scheme of things, no one really cares anyway. The latest is plantar fasciitis. Same side of the body. I must be cursed. Actually, let me take a step back to admit that my neurological issues were concentrated on the other side of my body, so there is some equity here...
Yes, I am falling apart, and while it worries my parents that I refuse to see a doctor that I last saw years ago (because it isn't as if she can cure me), I figure that when I visit my fifth new doctor this year, someone should throw me a damn party. Thank God I have health insurance.
I am done complaining, because I really should count my blessings. Today I went to a Rite Aid and bought $40 of worthless crap (anti-cellulite lotions, nail polish, and an FM tuner radio), which means that in the grand scheme of things, I have nothing to be upset about. There are people who spend that much on a single prescription, and even if I did incur such an expense, I could afford it (even on my paltry salary). I really am blessed.
And of course, this is all made possible by a really delicious (and full) glass of pinot noir...