I think we can agree that the 70s was an unfortunate decade of all around bad taste--bad fashion, bad TV shows, bad movies, just bad everything! But in spite of all that utter awefulness, we children of the 70s can't get enough of it and neither can the rest of you! After all, we've got everyone in bell-bottom jeans again...
But even if everything was bad, at least it was *watchable*. I spent the past weekend in New York City sick with the flu (again), and I was entertained by hours of retro TV. It was fantastic!
It began with old Saturday morning cartoons. Since my regular shows were all repeats, I checked out Boomerang to see if any of my old faves were on. I watched "The Smurfs," which technically is not a 70s show because it came on in the 80s, but who cares?
Afterwards I changed to the TV Land Awards which serves as a testament to the brilliance of 70s television. In addition to the tribute to Aaron Spelling, the genius behind such great TV shows like "Charlie's Angels" and "The Love Boat," there was a rousing tribute to everyone's favorite TV pimp, er host, Don Cornelius from the best TV dance show ever--"Soul Train". This show that caused black children everywhere to simultaneously stop whatever they were doing for an entire hour on Saturdays. Where else could we all learn the latest dance moves and see the best lip-synching TV had to offer?
Then we found TV-One, which is the mature version of BET. Its afternoon programming consisted of the retro movie classic, Five on the Black Hand Side followed by the Playa's Ball episode of "Martin." I know, I know, "Martin" was a 90s show, but the Playa's Ball phenomenon is an original classic 70s theme. And the movie, well, there are worse ways to spend a Saturday afternoon.
We also saw that Alfred Hitchcock classic, "The Birds," which really dates back to the 60s, but I first saw this movie as a child. To this day, I hate seagulls.
Finally there was the "Jesus of Nazareth" marathon on the History Channel. This miniseries from the 70s was, in my mind, the most powerful visual rendition of the life and ministry of Jesus. As I child, I actually believed that I was watching the life of Jesus unfold on television. We began watching it sometime in the late afternoon, and by the bitter end, which was not until after midnight, I had fallen asleep several times only to re-awaken to find that the movie was still on that Jesus was still alive.
This is why I love cable. I still don't have it, but I look forward to the weekends and trips away from home when I have access to it. There is very little that is worth watching on regular TV, and cable is nothing more than old recycled TV shows and movies. But that is why I love it--what better way to waste vast amounts of time than to get transported to one's childhood?
Life was simpler then. We believed that there were little blue people who lived in a mushroom village with one girl and she was never molested. Michael Jackson was once a cute black kid with an Afro and a nose. Don Cornelius was always a cool dude. Every now and then, Isaac, the hardest working bartender on the seven seas, got a black girlfriend. Not all blaxploitation movies had the same vigilante plotline (some had no discernable plot at all). Apparently, people really did dress up like that for a Playa's ball. The very idea of random attacks by birds is still scary as hell. And the story of the life of Jesus is still a timeless classic. There is a such thing as the good ole days...
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