I was checking out other blogs the other day, which inspired me to sign up for National Novel Writing Month. I've written a grand total of 100 words. At least it is better than zero.
Initially I was not going to participate because I do not have the time. I still don't have the time. If nothing else, I will get about 10,000 words written and then I will leave the unfinished project on my hard drive for future generations to discover. That is precisely why I signed up. I need some incentive to get something finished.
Then I met someone who gave me even more inspiration, only it won't help me with my Nanowrimo committment. It is a completely different project, but at least I got started on that one. I was having a mimosa inspired chat with the brother of a friend, when I started in on one of my "mama" pep talks in which I have all of the answers for other folks' problems, but not a clue about any of my own.
And that got me to thinking about how I could get my sh** together and take some of my own advice. I just need a few days without someone else's crap in my lap to get my own stuff accomplished.
I know that my ADHD is in overdrive, and that I am way too over-extended for creative pursuits. But dammit, when will I ever have time for my agenda? If I want to be an artist, I have to devote time to my art, in much the same way I devote whole chunks of time to everyone else. I need to become more selfish.
It is nearly impossible to balance competing committments. On the one hand, I hear my inner voice urging me to blow off some steam by jotting down a few words here and there. On the other hand, I hear that ever-present clock ticking in my head, and despite my every attempt to ignore it, it never goes away.
So for the month of November, I am going to committ myself to finishing something of my own. It doesn't matter what it is, and while it probably won't be the novel, something is going to be printed, bound in a nice folder with a title on a label with my name written printed on it as the author. So help me!
1 comment:
Hi Ayanna!
I came across your blog by accident as well and I really like your posts. I, too, and trying to write a novel and I understand your dilemmas and the juxtaposition of competing interests. I look forward to reading more of your posts!
Courtney
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