Cultivating More Bad Habits

I'm a full-blown TV addict. In the past few weeks since we our new TV came to life, I'm spending more and more time in front of the telly, so this might explain why I don't use the computer as often anymore. With 150 channels and counting, all of my time is spent finding something suitable to watch.

Of course, cable is replete with makeover shows (for the home, the straight guy/gal, gay pets, etc), re-runs, old movies, cartoons, music videos, pop-culture count-downs, home shopping infomercials, religious programming, around-the-clock news to make you snooze (or booze), and documentaries on every possible subject. Those faux celebreality "where are they now" shows are the icing on the cake. Why didn't I get cable sooner?

Of course, I was able to entertain myself just fine with the 7 very clear, 3 somewhat clear, and the 6 fuzzy channels we already had. But as our reception got worse, we realized that it was only a matter of time before we had to give in. When Rick's 35th belated birthday gift to himself arrived with no antenna attachment, and we could only watch DVDs and two fuzzy TV channels, it was finally time. In exchange for our 16 or so free access channels, we got 150, 100 of which we can totally do without.

Another very weird habit I've cultivated is working out crossword puzzles. It started innocently enough one night back in May when Rick and my brother went off to softball practice. I was reading through the paper and spotted an easy clue that I could answer and from that moment, I've been hooked. And it isn't just an addiction to the puzzles in the Post, it also includes the Post Express, the Examiner and the City Paper. The Magazine's Sunday puzzle is a little to difficult for me and I can't even imagine the NYTimes puzzle which is among the hardest.

So am I total freak yet? I mean, does anyone else out there keep a dictionary, an atlas, and mechanical pencils on hand to obsess, er solve crossword puzzles?

I have a multitude of bad habits, and it seems that the older I get the worse they get. I am still rather not-neat (Rick is the sloppy one), and while I breath sighs of relief when I watch that "Clean Sweep" show on the Style network and see other people's junk, it only reinforces the TV addiction thing. I have been back on the caffeine wagon again, and it is really bad this time around because I've been drinking it in the form of regular Coke in addition to Diet Coke. This only happens when my stress levels are high, which can only mean that I am: (a) nervous about something that hasn't happened yet, (b) nervous about something I forgot to do which will catch up to me and bite me in the ass pretty soon, or (c) just weak because the regular Coke has been in the house since Father's Day and I'm attracted to the pretty red cans. Potato chips are another weakness, along with chocolate, popcorn, hamburgers, and other food I binge on when depressed...or on my period.

So at least that mystery is solved--I'm not depressed.

I've lost weight, so I look a lot better these days, but my efforts to maintain are suffering from a severe lack of motivation. And I've got plenty of excuses:

1. I don't ride my bike very often for fear of being jacked, killed or kidnapped (take your pick, I live in the city).
2. I don't use my roller blades because as a grown-ass woman strapped into a helmet, wrist, elbow and knee pads, I would look pretty stupid skating all by myself.
3. I can't used my tennis racket because I have no one to play with and I don't know how.
4. I really didn't want the treadmill--it is just there for drying clothes.
5. My New York City Ballet workout DVD has been viewed several times, and used even fewer times, which is better than I can say for the yoga/pilates book...

I could continue to beat myself up, but then isn't that just the way things are? There are the paragons of efficiency and accomplishment like Martha Stewart, Donald Trump and The Oprah. Then there are the rest of us--people who need passive-aggressive parents/spouses, work deadlines, and constant self-loathing to get things accomplished.

In a way, I'm so normal that I thank God my issues and bad habits aren't interesting enough for TV. Because then I'd be up all night watching it.