What Do We Expect?

So I did not watch the BET Awards...which is not that big of a deal since most of my Facebook friends posted live commentary while it aired.  I spent a good portion of the morning reading their hilarious reactions. 

And as I suspected, the universal conclusion was that the show was an entertaining hot mess!  Which they all kept watching even after that fact became clear...

That is exactly why the BET Awards will always be a hot mess.  It is why the now-defunct Source Awards were a hot mess.  It is why Tyler Perry is a multi-gazillionaire.

Because we keep watching.  So we need to ask ourselves, why do we keep watching?

I was up last night writing about bad black films for the BBW blog, and while that is another issue altogether, the point still is that if we truly want better entertainment options, then we need to cut out the crap.  It is just like losing weight--you cannot say that you want to slim down to a size 6 one minute, but then the next minute finds you scarfing down a dozen Krispy Kremes. 

So perhaps a better question is if we truly want these award shows (sitcoms, movies, music, etc.) to improve...or do we get far more enjoyment from criticizing them?

Several weeks ago I decided to stop watching the Housewives series on BRAVO, even though I find these shows highly entertaining.  And maybe it was just a few weeks later that I listened to an interview on the radio with one of the former DC Housewives who gave her perspective on this genre.  She discussed the new season of the Vh1 knock-off Basketball Wives and how it reinforced certain negative stereotypes about black women.  Her own reason for appearing on a reality show was to counteract that imagery, but in the end, her show was cancelled because it lacked the same level of scandal and drama. 

How do you spell I-R-O-N-I-C?

So, we really prefer do prefer the car crashes, the back-stabbing, the really bad fashion choices, and the overall sense that this is the best some of these folks can do.  We want Kanye to throw a temper tantrum about not winning whatever award he was not even in the running to win.  We hope that a third of the female performers will look like hookers and that half of the male performers will look like they were just released from Rikers.  We expect that the seven-second delay will be absolutely imperative because someone will drop an f-bomb or two during an acceptance speech wherein they will also happen to thank Jesus.  We know that half these folks can't sing.

If we really wanted a good clean awards show, we would watch the Kennedy Center Honors.

In the end, BET is just doing what every other business does when it comes to promoting its products:

See What Happens When You Aren't Looking?

So last night, I was looking through my Twitter updates and as usual, Keith Olbermann was posting his nightly show plugs.  I am not sure when I read his cryptic tweet about a last minute change to his Thurber segment, but it really did not matter since I was headed to dinner with friends for the evening.  Fast forward a few hours and while waiting for the husband to retrieve the car, I was looking through the Twitter feed again and spotted news tweets about Olbermann's final sign off as host of "Countdown".

Wow.

I cannot tell you how many years I watched this show and thus, how many other TV shows I missed because on any given day of the week, this is how I spent the 8pm primetime TV hour.  What in the world am I going to do now?

Sure he was over the top.  Sometimes his guests annoyed me.  Yes, he could be a pompous windbag (I could go on), but I LOVED his show.  And though a few months ago, I began to grow weary of his schtick in the aftermath of the 2010 midterms, I still tuned in occasionally.

Brief side note: I got into a mini-Twitter debate with Roland Martin about the dearth of brown faces as hosts of TV opinion shows and suggested that the solution might be for non-traditional outlets such as BET and TV One to beef up their news operations.  He bluntly told me that I was wrong...but failed to explain the success of former Air America talents Rachel Maddow and Ed Schultz at MSNBC.  I mentioned how Maddow got her own show as a result of being a commentator on Countdown, so my question was whether this was really about brown folks not receiving the opportunity or whether there was some other explanation.

Now it seems that MSNBC has an opening...

Now back to Olbermann: I will miss his show, not just because I liked him, but also because his show was a place where black opinionators were featured on a regular basis.  He introduced us to Melissa Harris Perry (formerly Lacewell), Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Derrick Pitts, and Eugene Robinson (whom I saw the other night at the Kennedy Center).  Through their appearances, America got a different spin on the issues from voices that were reasonable and informed (in the case of Tyson and Pitts, we got two black astronomers discussing science in primetime).  He also gave Maddow a chance, which is significant because her show is the only female-lead opinion news show that does not focus on entertainment, celebrity trials and missing women. 

Thus, my larger point is that Keith Olbermann was a lot of things, but he deserves a lot of the credit for diversifying primetime opinion shows in more ways than just offering his liberal take on the issues.  So the real loss is not just his show, but his influence and willingness to use it to offer opportunities to others.

Half and Half: A Metaphor

OK, so my latest rerun obsession is a little-known sitcom called "Half & Half" (H&H) which originally aired on UPN a few years ago. I liked this show a lot when it was on, but only vaguely recall that it was a casualty of the UPN-WB merger. So, I find myself in a must-see TV mode similar to my past obsessions with "As Time Goes By" on PBS, "Dharma and Greg" on WE, "Charmed" on TNT, and "Homicide: Life on the Streets" on WGN (all in reruns).

Unfortunately there were only four seasons of H&H, and since I missed the entire fourth season due to my teaching schedule, I cheated and looked online to see how things ended. I have been pleasantly surprised by how much better the show has gotten near the end, so my question to the network: why cancel a solid show just as it hit its stride?

I could call my suspicion a name, but instead I will simply describe the symptoms: (1) a sitcom starring blacks characters; (2) gets scheduled on the one throwaway night of TV; (3) where it becomes highly rated among black viewers; (4) so the network moves it around on the programming schedule; (5) and ultimately it gets cancelled after a couple of seasons. The official word often is that the show was in decline; yet in the case of H&H, the show had been among the highest rated on the network before the merger.

So I will call it a name--Show Business as Usual (OK, that is a phrase :), but how else should I describe the phenomenon in which a country as diverse as America only has room in primetime for one person of color at a time--who at the moment appears to be President Obama? Sure that might be an exaggeration, but aside from all those people of color who have recurring roles on the nightly news as criminals, terrorists, lunatic dictators and ball-players, where is the rest of America?

Consider the fact that I have never seen an all-Asian sitcom, and that most of the Latinos on TV other than those tagged as 'aliens' by Lou Dobbs are on the Spanish-language TV networks. While individual black, Asian and Latino actors appear on scripted dramas like The Closer, Law & Order, Grey's Anatomy and CSI, there is no Asian or Latino equivalent to the Cosby Show (save for the Obamas, who are the 21st Century Huxtables).

Since I am only raising this issue after the CW just cancelled its last two 'black' sitcoms, I am behind the ball (especially since H&H was cancelled back in 2006). But why hasn't there been more diversity beyond the programming ghetto of the now-defunct UPN, the Atlanta Housewives and whichever spin-off of Flavor of Love is airing at the moment? Why can't mediocre shows starring people of color get a shot on the major networks? Clearly it makes no difference how long a show airs since most new shows get cancelled anyway. (I am purposely ignoring Tyler Perry for another rant later).

Are you hearing me President Obama? How are you going to solve this problem?

"Very Special Episodes" Pt. II

OK, I never made it back to finish commenting on the "very special" episode of Little House the other day, but the developments of the last couple of days have led me to an epiphany of sorts--reality programs are the 21st Century version of the "very special episode".

I came to this conclusion after it was revealed that Jon and Kate Gosselin are separating. Like, yeah...And of course, they made this announcement on a "very special" episode of their show to about 10 million of their closest friends!

In the old days, heady social issues like divorce, rape, drugs, racism, etc. were explored on one of the top-rated family-oriented sitcoms or dramatic series (hence, my Little House flashback). Usually, the set up was that an obscure minor character or a guest star would take center stage for the purpose of explaining the ways of the world to impressionable TV-watching youngsters in 30 to 60 minute intervals. Some notable examples:

• Very special "Diff'rent Strokes" when Arnold's friend Dudley is molested by the candy store owner
• Very special "Facts of Life" when Natalie decides to sleep with her boyfriend Snake
• Very special "Cosby Show" when a colleague of Cliff's reveals his daughter's drug use
• Very special "Different World" when the basketball star tries to date rape Freddie
• Very special "Good Times" when JJ's prom date is a dope fiend
• Very special "Fresh Prince" when the Banks family joins old friends in rebuilding LA after the riots
• Very special "Happy Days" when the only black kid in town joins Richie's band

On some rare occasions, there was the very, very special episode, wherein the central characters experienced various life-altering transitions:

• Very special "Golden Girls" when Blanche realizes she is going through menopause
• Very special "Roseanne" when Roseanne gets a breast reduction
• Very special "Blossom" when Blossom gets her period
• Very special "Full House" when DJ has her first kiss

(Yep, I watched that much TV growing up).

Unfortunately, there are very few sitcoms these days, so reality TV has had to pick up the slack. In lieu of laugh-tracks, dramatic music cues, and special commentary by the cast, we have the real-life train wreck of the Gosselins (or the Hogans, Danny Bonaduce, or any of the early episodes of MTV's The Real World). If you favor celebrity or political dysfunction, there is always Vh1, E! True Hollywood Story, or 24-hour cable news.

As much as I enjoy mocking the melodramatic very special" episodes of my youth, I have to admit that I miss them because as reality TV has proven, real life is stranger than fiction. Make-believe drama requires no emotional investment because the people are just characters, the situations are contrived, and between the reactions of the studio audience and the guest-star credits, we get reminded that this is just a TV show. The following week, Arnold will have hatched a new scheme to avoid the Gooch; Tootie will have created that ridiculous paper mache bust of Jermaine Jackson; Rudy will imagine her family as two-dimensional fairy tale characters; Freddie will continue to be a hippie flake; JJ will declare something "Dynomite"; Carlton will still dance awkwardly to Tom Jones; the Fonz will jump the shark; Blanche will continue to be an old slut; the Connors will still be poor; Joey will respond to everything with 'woah'; and Uncle Jesse will still have his mullet.

However in real life, the Gosselins might actually get divorced and ten people will be directly impacted. Of course real people get divorced everyday, but we usually do not get to see the uncoupling in living color. There is already speculation that this could lead to a post-divorce spin-off show.

Really...

Which just makes me long for the drawn-out soap operatic disintegration of fictional marriages made in hell such as Ross and Emily on a very special "Friends"; Grace and Leo on a very special "Will & Grace"; Frazier and Lillith on a very special "Cheers"; Niles and Maris on a very special "Frazier"; etc.

A Very Special "Blossom"

So, I am supposed to be heading off to yoga class, but I really needed to post this...

While I was flipping channels, I caught the summary of an upcoming episode of "Little House on the Prairie." I used to love this show as a kid, but unfortunately, I have been (until now) totally uninterested in revisiting it at this stage in my life. However, the summary of today's episodes was a two-parter that I clearly remembered watching years ago, so I decided to take a chance.

Ok, now looking at the clock, I realize that it will take me a lot longer to write this than I have time, so this will be a two-parter post.

Part I - The quick and dirty summary of this "very special" episode of Little House: Albert, the kid adopted into the Engalls family, falls in love with some puberty-stricken girl who gets raped and impregnated by a masked stranger. I think the girl's mother is dead, so she is being raised by her ultra-strict father, who assumes the worst when her condition is discovered. Because he is in love, Albert offers to marry her, which sets Mrs. Olsen's tongue wagging about Albert being the baby daddy.

Drama...drama...obligatory confrontations, outrage and misunderstandings follow...

(By the way, I really didn't watch too closely, so a lot of this is based on my 20+ year memory).

At some point, the girl either runs away and gets kidnapped by her rapist, or she runs away and gets discovered by her rapist while asleep in an abandoned shack. Masked rapist attacks again, she tries to escape, Albert comes just in time to try to save her but gets knocked on his ass, Mr. Engalls and the girl's father arrive in time to shoot the rapist...but in the excitement the girl falls off an old ladder.

Commercial break...

Albert, Daddy Engalls, and widowed father are sitting around the Engalls' kitchen table. Doctor emerges from the room stone-faced and informs Albert that the girl wants to see him. She and Albert declare their love, share a final kiss, and then she kicks the bucket. Dream sequence ending with another kiss between them.

Cue the closing credits and theme music...

And, you'll just have to wait for my reaction in Part II.

When the Freaks Come Out

I've been thinking about reality shows a lot lately (not because I want to star on one, but just because the scandals that attach to the so-called stars are unavoidable). Specifically I have given considerable thought to both the Gosselin family soap opera and the rumors about Susan Boyle that unveiled themselves earlier this week.

First, I want to address Susan Boyle, since it is relatively easy to determine why she finally had a public meltdown. Some people are not supposed to become famous and clearly this woman is one of them. Sure, she is very talented and maybe it seemed like a nice idea at the time--get her to compete on a talent show so that she could share her gift with the world. But this poor lady has gone from obscurity to infamy in less than the time it took Michael Jackson to go from black to whatever the heck he is now...

And actually, that is an apt comparison--Michael wanted fame and fortune, so he worked for it, got it, enjoyed it and then squandered it. Most people who seek fame understand the downside to their quest. Failure is a part of the bargain. It isn't clear that Ms. Boyle wanted to be famous. She simply wanted to sing a duet with some famous British singer. But when it got to the point that she was doing interviews with Oprah, someone should have considered what would happen if this woman really unleashed all of the stuff she's kept buried all these years in her little Scottish village. Did anyone ever ask themselves why this 48 year old woman lived by herself and had never been kissed? If you consider that it might be because she is unstable, it isn't as heart-warming as it might seem.

So as much as I like Cinderella stories, this one is more likely to end up with her as the subject of a True Hollywood Story than her living in some Hollywood mansion with Prince Charming. (And surely Simon Cowell is no one's idea of a Prince Charming!) How can she win and not be affected? Could she lose and return to a relatively normal life? Perhaps. I think a better question is to inquire whether she still hasn't been kissed even after all of this attention...

Then there is the Gosselin family train wreck brought to us courtesy of TLC.

I really cannot call myself a fan of this show, but when I have seen it, I cringed whenever Kate ordered Jon to do something as if he was one of the kids. I laughed whenever The Soup lampooned Jon's apathy because, frankly, I thought he deserved it. Anyone who would willingly expose themselves this way was simply asking for the ridicule that resulted.

However, this week, I began to wonder if something more sinister was at work. These people became tabloid fodder in the last six weeks because Jon supposedly stepped out on his wife. It just so happens that the season premier of their 5th season was this week...and these two idiots agreed to continue filming while in the midst of an obvious marital crisis? Are we supposed to feel sorry for them?

I vote no because all of these "take a look inside my family" reality shows are nothing more than freakshows anyway. The average family of two kids, a dog and a Volvo are unlikely to be featured. Little people like the Roloff family, families with more than 10 kids like the Duggar family, celebrity couples and has-beens get reality shows. I do not want to imply that the Roloffs, the Duggars or even the Gosselins are freaks like the fictional Addams or Munster families. But our fascination with them has very little to do with the mundane day-to-day stuff their shows highlight in each episode.

Of course the photogenic Gosselins are intriguing, despite the fact that Kate is a deeply insecure woman and Jon is an apathetic and emotionally detached man. For all of its pretense, this show has never been about the well-being of their eight children--it has been about these two incompatible people who were trying not to kill each other. Face it, we watched because we knew it was abnormal to have eight children and not go bonkers. The show that aired on Monday was simply the payoff JK8 fans had been waiting for...they finally cracked!

So onto the next season of freaks...

The Jig is Up

OK, so I was watching Project Runway (one of the best shows on TV, ever) and this week, they eliminated another talented designer. I don't remember her name, but she get the auf wedersen while that loony hack Blaine remained to sew something more tragic next week. And this morning, I tuned in to see the very end of that P. Diddly "Apprentice" show, and again, the loud-mouthed self-proclaimed Poprah (pop-Oprah, get it?) got to stay, while the mild-mannered whats-his-name got escorted from the building.

I know...the a$$holes who stay make for great television. Those who leave are forgetable, which is why they get kicked off. That predictable format works well on shows about finding love for rich nobodies, washed up hype men, reality show losers, and one-hit wonders. The fine print disclaimer that runs along the bottom of the screen after elimination pretty much admits that a good number of the "contestants" are there to keep us watching. But it isn't supposed to be that obvious.

In the past, it took a while to catch on to the scheme. On Season Two of PR, Santino clearly scraped the bottom of the bad taste barrel weeks earlier, but he still made it to Fashion Week. Of course, the winner that season was the forgetable Chloe, so it all makes sense in hindsight. Ditto for the phenomenon that is Omarosa--the mere mention of her name can give a show weeks of steam (which probably explains why Trump brought her back for the has-been celebrity version last fall). And as odd as it is to admit this, Dustin Diamond--perhaps the most pathetic child star loser since Danny Bonduce and Gary Coleman--single-handedly made Celebrity Fit Club worth watching again.

So conflict-casting clearly works. But it is a cheap ploy that eventually reveals the shortcomings of the show, not the actual "contestants". Once the roller coaster gets back to the gate, people get off the ride. Only kids stand in line to ride again and again. When shows have to resort to gimmicks to keep people watching, it is a sign that their ride is almost over.

PR is only in its fifth season, Diddy's show just started, and already they are pulling tricks? If they had asked me, I would have told the geniuses at Bravo that by replicating their best show, they've polluted the airways with flawed clones--Shear Genius and Top Design both suck. Top Chef is the notably exception, but its success only proves that instead of being a unique show, PR was just a template. As for Diddy, well, originality was never his thing, so it is no surprise that he would helm an Apprentice knock-off with another Angry Black Woman (ABW) at the center (more on that conflict casting device a little later). Poprah could end up duking it out on Celebrity Death Match with Omarosa.

Oh well, I guess I will just enjoy the ride...