A Bout of Over-Confidence

I have not been able to write anything good lately, and it appears that this started as soon as I began to feel confident that I was becoming a writer. I guess I spoke too soon.

I think part of this has to do with the way I'm trying to write. On some days, I want to write like I feel (just put some thoughts down on paper), and on other days, I want to say something profound. It is when I want to be profound that I have the most trouble.

I wanted to write a piece about religion after I saw a former peer of mine on television one Sunday morning. The spectacle was so hilarious that I wanted to write about why performances like his had driven me from the church. If I could have just been clearer and written it just hte way I wrote it here, then the piece would not have been so unwieldy and unfinished.

Another time, I wanted to write about being Irish. This was way back in March, right before St. Patrick's Day. It was going to be a tongue-in-cheek piece about how I, as a black woman, felt entitled to Irish heritage because of my last name, my family origins in Maryland, and our fair skin. I spent hours on that, only to abandon it and never finish it.

There are countless other examples of my inability to finish these more profound pieces of writing. These unfinished pieces don't exactly haunt me, but they are reminders of how much more disciplined I need to be about my writing. It doesn't help that my ADHD is on a roll these days along with myriad distractions, but my hope is that I will focus long enough to get something written and finished in the next few weeks.

I also want to join a writers' group, but I am not sure how to find one. I've checked the internet, but that is like looking for a needle in a haystack. The internet is full of wannabe writers like me, but how exactly do you find someone with whom you click? I need both a critic and a sounding board, and we already know that my husband is no good in either department.

In some ways, I feel that he presents another obstacle, even though he would probably disagree. It isn't only that he never reads anything that I write unless it is written for him, but he also doesn't provide me with the space and solitude that I need to write. One of the problems is that I spend a good part of my day doing things for my alumnae group, my clients and other career development type stuff, so by the time I want to focus on my own creative work, he comes home and then everything must center around him. He wants me to watch a movie that he's rented with him. He wants to know what I am doing, so he'll come in and watch me type. I have to stop to eat dinner...God help me if we ever have children, because I will never get any writing done!

Waa, waa, whine, whine...OK, I'm done with that. The hub isn't all that bad, it's just that when he comes home, he wants to spend time with me. I should never complain about that.

Anyhoo, I am going to keep at it until something good comes along. Maybe a trip to Europe or to the country would do me some good. I am thinking seriously about spending a week in New England somewhere, although lately, I've been wanting to go to Europe. Probably because of my new obsession with Brit-coms...

Ciao!