As the World Turns

So in the time since I last wrote, Barack Obama was elected, inaugurated, feted, and damn near crowned King of the World. His life has changed.

Mine, alas, has not.

I am here because I had no where else to turn. I had a big fight with someone close to me and it has been days since we last spoke. I was okay until today when the reality of everything hit me like a ton of bricks. In my initial anger, I assumed that I would simply take a time out for a few weeks and then slowly work things out. Now in my despair, I am beginning to realize that I must not be even worth the effort to this person, that it might be just fine never to speak to me again. And that upsets me because I would like to think that I am not that disposable.

(By the way, I am being vague on purpose. I know that no one reads this blog, but in an abundance of caution it is best to keep things as generic as possible).

I thought to write about my feelings after I saw a blog post by someone else who seemed to be writing from inside my head. Certain relationships are complicated, and apparently I am not alone. Inside my heart though, I am alone and it hurts worse than anything I have ever felt. To make a long story short, I will say that I am not at fault, it is over something very silly, and I could just take a dive on this one to make everybody happy again. Well, maybe not happy, but civil.

But then nothing ever gets resolved when one person always throws in the towel. (I can't even come up with an appropriate metaphor to explain this...I am just so tired and demoralized.)

So now for the dramatic cliffhanger: This only makes the depression I've been suffering from even worse. If I don't fix my life soon...

Feel free to write your own conclusion.