I have been thinking about this blog, only because it has been over a month since my last post. In that time, I have actually managed to get more things accomplished, which leads me to conclude that blogging, unless one is paid for it, is a big waste of time.
Of course, I don't really believe that. In my case, blogging has been enormously helpful to me in expressing those things that no one else cares to hear from me. My "audience" has been a cheap form of therapy. So whenever I question why I do this, I think about the fact that I usually feel pretty good about myself after the fact.
I miss writing. I have been teaching since the summer, and with the exception of exactly one day, I will be teaching straight through to next summer. This would really be a great job if (a) it paid more money and (b) I actually got an office where I could go to escape my house. And, I would want (c) a permanent campus assignment where I could go for every class instead of travelling to all corners of the state. These benefits would make my life gravy.
Another boon would be if I could take a week or two off from being me. Essentially, I need another vacation, only this time, I need to be by myself somewhere with just a computer, a warm blanket, and some wine with my meals. I would also love to take my bike and a good pair of walking shoes. If someone would be willing to plan such a retreat for me, I would be ever so grateful.
I also need a sounding board. Someone who is detached enough from the daily hum drum of my life to offer me advice and counsel as necessary. Such a person would have been really helpful to be today in the midst of my level-5 break down this afternoon. But since my ballet classes are free, I guess that will have to be my stress relief for the time being.
I could go for a yoga class. Something close to my house or to that imaginary campus so that I wouldn't have to travel out of my current orbit. I could take yoga at the dance studio, but then I'd have to pay, so another requirement for the yoga class would be that the price must be right (as in free or somewhere in the neighborhood of $5 - $8 per class). As the popularity increases, the prices have also increased, which in turn, causes me to stay perpetually tense.
I could go on with my wish list of things, but I will conclude with a list of the things for which I am grateful (in other words, here is my yin and yang):
My husband, because he tolerates me.
My parents, because they made me.
My brothers, because they no longer need me, and love me anyway.
My extended family, because they remind me of who I am .
My mother-in-law, because she loves me for no particular reason.
My other in-laws, because they bring me joy (especially the little ones, who remember me).
My friends, because they are special gifts to me.
My job, because it gives me purpose.
I have to do the black thing now and thank God, because He never makes mistakes.
And that's all folks. Ciao!
