Shameful Sighs of Relief

I am ashamed to admit that around 3:30 EDT, I sat glued to the TV in anticipation of the verdict in the Michael Jackson case. He was found not-guilty on all charges. What empty relief.

Of course, not too long ago in this very space, I declared that my childhood fascination with all things Michael Jackson had ended. I believed that his odd behavior, bizarre appearance, and apparent lack of boundaries were indicative of a man out of control--the complete opposite of the child-like image of innocence that he and his handlers had so carefully crafted all these years. Although I never believed that Mike had molested this kid, I did think that he was guilty of exercising extremely poor judgment.

So instead of occupying myself with something more worthy of my time, I sat worrying about the verdict and felt eternally sorry for the man who once was king of the world. Instead of the vibrant, electric entertainer I knew as a child, the man I saw ushered into the courtroom surrounded by bodyguards and family was barely able to walk on his own.

What a sad, pitiful, pathetic sight! I doubt that he would have been able to survive the initial impact of a guilty verdict. The minute that the bailiffs would have approached him with handcuffs to carry him off to jail, this Michael Jackson would have dropped dead on the spot. If he didn't die immediately of shock, he surely would have arranged to have one of his handlers slip him a belt or a bedsheet that would have done the deed later on.

This Michael Jackson can't even make friends his own age, so he cavorts with children. He is so fragile that he needs to be protected from the sun and can't even manage to hold his own umbrella. He is so blase that he appears not capable of thinking for himself and has handlers to manage every move that he makes. He is so gullible that he gets used over and over again by opportunists who think nothing of pimping their own children. Finally, he is so stupid because it was by his own admission of inappropriate behavior with young boys that got him into this mess in the first place.

What a loser.

I am ashamed because there are more important things happening in the world other than the Michael Jackson trial. Unfortunately, in our celebrity obsessed culture, the trials and tribulations of the rich and famous are more important and newsworthy than stopping terrorists or finding weapons of mass destruction.

I am ashamed because this type of diversion is the type of crap that shifts attention away from real tragedies. As we awaited the verdict in this case, a plane crashed in Florida, yet I bet we won't know if anyone survived until 11 after all of the analysis, critiques and endless commentary. I wish more people had been this focused on the election in 2004, which would have averted another real tragedy.

I am ashamed because the discussion on Oprah concerning sexual abuse and child molestation caused me to feel nervous and a little nausea, not because I was sickened by what happened to her guests, but because it indicated a bad omen for the verdict.

I am ashamed that I reacted to this verdict like a star-struck California juror. Clearly, these people are incapable of convicting celebrities, no matter how heinous their crimes. These are the same people who elected an over-rated actor as their governor, so why is this a surprise? Is it any wonder why Robert Blake and OJ got off too?

Finally, I am ashamed of my own sordid fascination with this case. As soon as it was announced, I called my parents, my husband and my best friend to share the 'good' news. I'm devoting all of this time to write about it...

What a loser.